• By antitree
• at October 29, 2024

Location: Global Cybersecurity Institute at RIT

Hold onto your hats, folks, because this Friday’s Rochester 2600 meeting is going to be one for the ages. That’s right, this month’s gathering is rumored to bring together not just hackers, but also a colorful assortment of ancient creatures, mystical beings, political intrigue, and possibly a rift into another dimension. Or maybe just some old laptops and a lot of caffeine—you never really know.

Picture this: The meeting kicks off at 7 PM, but as soon as the clock strikes 7:01, the doors burst open and in walk (or shuffle?) a parade of characters from the forgotten corners of history. A T-Rex with a fedora—he’s been tinkering with a soldering iron all afternoon, and he’s ready to show off his latest Raspberry Pi project. Next to him, a zombie with a USB stick full of outdated, probably haunted, drivers. The ghoul next to the refreshments table is trying to install Arch Linux for the umpteenth time, and things are not looking good.

The true wildcard of the night? The dragon in the back, tapping away at a mechanical keyboard, flames flickering every time someone mentions outdated software patches. And let’s not forget the political dissidents, who are busy trying to find a way to send encrypted messages through the dragons’ fiery breath. They’re deep in discussion about how to secure the troll tunnels and make sure the trolls themselves can’t MITM any messages. The trolls—fuzzy, grumpy, and surprisingly skilled at network configuration—are taking their time debating the merits of IPv6 versus IPv4. We’re staying well out of it.

Suddenly, the lights flicker, and in comes a pack of skeletons—“bones” on keyboards, typing in nothing but leetspeak. They seem to be trying to brute-force something, though honestly, no one is quite sure whether it’s a password or just another attempt at getting the soda machine to spit out free Mountain Dew. One of the skeletons, “Bony Tony,” has a conspiracy board set up, strings tying together every bit of tech hardware in the room with pictures of strange symbols that may just be glyphs or someone’s doodles. Nobody knows; nobody asks.

Outside, there’s some commotion. A couple of demons appear to be trying to join the WiFi, but the dragon has changed the SSID to something inscrutable again—something about “flame_secure_7xZ.” Everyone knows the password is probably something draconic involving five special characters and a growl, but nobody can get it quite right. Meanwhile, the political dissidents are negotiating access while loudly proclaiming their right to open, fair access to the community router. The trolls chuckle—they’ve been running packet captures this whole time, “just for fun.”

The zombies, meanwhile, are drawn to a flickering monitor—something about blue screens of death speaks to them on a spiritual level. One of them groans loudly and raises a hand, clutching an old IDE cable like it’s the sacred relic of a bygone era. Across the room, the dinosaur—yes, still wearing a fedora—argues with a dragon about the merits of using BSD versus Linux. It’s starting to get heated, literal steam rising from the debate.

And then, amidst the chaos, someone—perhaps human, perhaps not—suggests pizza. The skeletons all nod in unison, the dragon snorts smoke in agreement, and even the trolls are down for it, as long as they don’t have to split the bill fairly. The demons grumble; they would prefer sushi, but hey, democracy rules the day.

So, if you’re in Rochester this Friday and are feeling like rubbing elbows with mythical beasts, undead hobbyists, trolls that are somehow friendlier in person than online, and a dinosaur with a genuine appreciation for retro computing, come join us. Just make sure to bring your sense of humor, a sturdy VPN, and, perhaps, some enchanted bug spray—the ghouls get a bit restless when someone mentions closed-source software.

After all, it’s not every day you get to see a dragon troubleshoot WiFi issues while a T-Rex mutters something about “kids these days not respecting serial connections.” It’s going to be a blast—or at least a roar—this Friday at the Rochester 2600 meeting. Who knows? You might even learn something, or at the very least, have a good story to tell.

Don’t forget—7 PM sharp. Bring your gear, your curiosity, and an open mind. You’ll need it

NOTE: None of this is real. This was generated from an LLM. Join us for a chill evening.

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